I am incredibly fearful of failure. I have tried and failed to avoid failure. Most times, it just ends up with me failing harder. Recently, I messed up big time.

Here’s how I handled it:

• Stay present
• Feel your feelings
• Accept your failure
• Think about what to do next time
• Move forward

Stay Present

I used to avoid my mistakes or feeling uncomfortable at all costs. I would do anything, but stay present. If I don’t think about something or pretend that it doesn’t exist, it will go away, right?

Unfortunately, I’ve learned the hard way that, that is simply not true. A small problem can create bigger problems in the future if it’s not handled in the present.

As hard as it might be, stay present.

Feel Your Feelings

I say this a lot, but feeling my feelings has helped me tremendously. Feelings of anxiety or sadness no longer feel insurmountable. I no longer feel stuck when I feel down or afraid. With practice, I’ve been able to get comfortable with my feelings.

Failing and the feelings that come with it are tough already. Don’t burden yourself more by avoiding your feelings or putting yourself down for how you feel. It’s natural to feel upset, sad, angry, disappointed, etc. The more you feel your feelings, the easier it will become to cope and to move forward.

Accept Your Failure

Accepting my failures is definitely difficult for me. I go into fix it or avoidance mode whenever I’ve failed. Sometimes, it is what it is. Sometimes there simply isn’t a fix, and you gotta accept it.

I had to get comfortable with failure before I could accept failure. I realized that my failures don’t mean that I am a bad person. It simply means that I’m human.

I had to learn that I will fail in big and small ways, and that it is a part of life. However, I also learned that my self-worth isn’t attached to my failures. I am still worthy even if I fail. Accepting my failure has made me learn to accept myself and to be kinder to myself.

Think About What to Do Next Time

Failures can bring about a time of learning, reflection, and growth. I have learned a lot from my failures. Failure can also lead to success. The more you fail, the more you learn. Whenever I’ve failed, I take time to reflect on how it went and how I could do better. I am less fearful of taking action because of failure. Although failure still doesn’t feel great (I’m not sure it ever will), I have grown to accept and feel comfortable about it. I bounce back a lot faster since I am not overthinking my failures. Instead, I am learning from them.

Move Forward

Take the time you need. When you’re ready, move forward. Keep going. Don’t let failure stop you from taking action. Failure happens. It doesn’t feel good, but the more you practice overcoming failure, the better you get at it. Failure doesn’t define you.

Move forward by focusing on your wins and how you can learn from your failures. You might be down, but you can always get back up. You got this!