Due to many different factors, I stopped trusting myself. I felt a lot of fear and anxiety because of my lack of self-trust. I became incredibly indecisive even over the smallest choices and actions. As much as I wanted to take action and move forward, I felt afraid that the worst could happen. I was waiting for proof that it was safe to take action. I was focused more on controlling the outcome and thinking of every possible scenario that instead I did nothing.

After much work, I shifted my perspective and realized that I needed to take action in order to create the proof. Here’s how I did that:

• Set the intention
• Write it down
• Keep your word
• Take it step by step
• Pivot when needed
• Celebrate it

Set the Intention

Decide. I get that it’s easier said than done, but go for it! Choose what you want to do and set the intention to do it.

Write It Down

I am notorious for keeping a never-ending to do list in my head. Implementing writing out my to do list (in many different ways) has been a game-changer for me. It also shows me that I believe in myself enough to write something down. My to do list is made up of big (future plans and wishlists) and small (daily tasks) things. I have many different to do lists and some of them are duplicative, but it works for me. When I have time on my hands, I tackle the smaller tasks on my to do list. Although they are small tasks, it always feels like a big win for me.

Keep Your Word

Writing it down helps me keep my word. I would often forget what I said I would do the day before which made it difficult for me to keep my word to myself. I am a big believer in playing to your strengths and working with your challenges which is why I need several types of to do lists. Also when I keep my word and follow through with what I said I was going to do, then I am able to cross something off of my to do list. Crossing something off of my to do list feels like a reward which makes it so that I want to continue to follow through.

Keeping my word also shows me that I am capable of doing what I set out to do. The more I keep my word, the more my self-trust builds. I have been able to prove to myself that I am capable.

Take It Step by Step

Don’t think so far ahead. Take the first action that you can in the moment. Whenever I thought too far ahead, I felt overwhelmed. The intention would feel daunting. I now remind myself to take the first action that I can take in the moment. Taking that first step helps build my confidence and trust in myself to keep pushing forward.

Pivot When Needed

The other week I went to the grocery store to buy very specific ingredients for a dish I was looking forward to making. Unfortunately, they did not have the specific brand for a crucial ingredient, and my initial response was to start putting back the rest of the ingredients. I thought to myself, “Well, I guess I should make something else.” However, a split second later, I had another thought, “Why can’t I make it without a different brand of that ingredient?”

It felt like my whole world opened up by that simple thought. Who said it had to be made with that particular brand? I was really looking forward to making this dish, and so I decide to pivot and try another brand.

It all worked out! And on top of that, I was so proud of myself, and I felt really happy. I trusted myself to pivot and overcame something. Past me would’ve froze and felt upset later.

This small action was a huge win for me. The confidence that I felt and the trust that I built with myself translated in other parts of my life, as well.

Celebrate It

A win is a win! You know what it takes for you to take action – celebrate it. Count all your wins. The grocery story I just told might seem minuscule or even silly to some, but to me it was huge. I celebrated by buying cookies I really like. I celebrated by dancing around the room after having the first bite of the meal I made.

For me, it was proof of a huge mindset shift. It was proof that I have been growing in trust for myself. It was proof that I know myself!

I am still on the journey of building self-trust. While I am on it, I am going to celebrate all the wins because I know I have grown so much.