I want to start this by saying that I believe that we know what’s good for ourselves. I am never one to judge or to push a lifestyle onto other people. Not drinking alcohol is what works best for me, but maybe moderation or being more mindful about your relationship with drinking is what is best for you.

I stopped drinking a few years ago simply because it took more from me than it gave to me. It took away happy memories, and gave me anxiety and doubt. It took away time for myself, and gave me hangovers and the weekend blues.

I started off small, and eventually kept going. Here’s how I did it:

• Take Small Steps
• Replace Alcohol with Something Else
• Ask for Support
• Be Okay with Saying No
• Invest in Other Activities

Take Small Steps

Before I fully committed to not drinking, I took a month break. Before then, I had never really taken a break from drinking alcohol (from the time that I started). I did not intend to completely stop drinking alcohol after the month break, but I wanted to see if I was capable of doing so. Taking a month break helped me build confidence, and it also made it so that I didn’t feel pressured to say I was never drinking again.

If a month break seems too strict or daunting, I suggest trying to take a weekend off or a week. Or you could try to cut back on how much you’re drinking. I want to be transparent and say that cutting back did not work for me. However, I have seen how it can work for other people. Do what’s best for you, and trust yourself.

Replace Alcohol with Something Else

Mocktails were extremely helpful to me the first year or so. I realized that I drank a lot more in social situations because of social anxiety. When I was invited to parties, I would bring a non-alcoholic beverage, so that I could still partake in the festivities. Find what you like. There is a lot out there. Here are some examples: apple cider, seltzer water, juice, ginger ale, etc.

Also, I am finding that more restaurants and bars have a mocktail menu or are willing to give out suggestions on what you can drink instead. For me, simply having a non-alcoholic drink in my hand helped relieve any sort of anxiety that I felt about being around people that were drinking. Now I’m good with just water or even snacks!

Ask for Support

You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you’re not drinking. However, I found it helpful letting friends know that I wasn’t partaking. It might take people awhile to get used to you not drinking, but be patient with them. Even after years of not drinking, I still have a few friends ask me what I wanna drink. Instead of reminding them that I’m alcohol free, I simply say water or juice. Most people are very supportive – they just forget.

It’s also okay to not let everyone that you’re around know that you’re not drinking alcohol. I simply say no thank you when it’s someone that I don’t think needs an explanation. When it’s someone that I have a closer connection to, I make it a point to let them know.

Be Okay With Saying No

What you do is a reflection of you, and no one else. I was surprised to find how some people would be offended that I wasn’t drinking alcohol. They thought I was judging them or that I felt better than them. That’s simply not the case. I don’t drink because of me! I would never judge anyone for drinking alcohol. I still miss margaritas, a nice cold beer on a hot day, and a good Irish mule.

I also see that the norm in our society is to drink. I had to get comfortable saying no. I had to get comfortable possibly offending other people because of my actions. At the end of the day, I am the one that lives my life, and I know that unfortunately, alcohol hasn’t always been good to me.

I also got comfortable saying no because of my support system. My friends and family would say no for me or they’d simply grab a non-alcoholic beverage for me without me asking. They helped me say no without saying no.

Invest In Other Activities

Honestly, I barely go out to bars or clubs these days. Sadly, drinking mocktails can be just as pricey as drinking alcohol. I definitely still go out with friends from time to time, but not as much as I did before.

Not drinking has freed up time that I didn’t know I had. Also, I used to get really bad hangovers (consider yourself blessed if you don’t!). I now don’t lose time to recovering, but instead, I feel like I have fuller weekends, and that I’m able to do a lot more with my time.

Also, I feel like I am able to invest more time into my relationships. I now have the energy to meet up with friends for coffee in the morning or to go to the gym together. Like I said, maybe you’re able to do all of these things and still drink alcohol – that wasn’t the case with me though.

I’m a few years in, and I’m still noticing changes and figuring out what works best for me. Life is a work in progress! Be patient with yourself and do what’s right for you. 🙂