If you’re like me, you’re probably very familiar with self-sabotage. When things are going well, I tend to freak out. What do I mean by freak out? I create problems for myself. I start to focus on the bad or bring up old wounds. It’s me – I’m the drama.

Feeling good and accepting joy and happiness hasn’t always felt comfortable. Over the past few years, I’ve been doing a lot of healing and inner work. I have been getting comfortable with my shadow self. I have been going inward a lot more. I am currently at a place where I am open and receptive to learning, and I am feeling good.

Recently, I realized that things are going well, and with that realization came a flood of tears. I had reached my upper limit.

Gay Hendricks talks about upper limit in the book, The Big Leap. From my understanding, your upper limit is your capacity for joy and good things. Personally, I have struggled for quite a while with hitting my upper limit. Every time I’ve hit my upper limit – when things felt good (almost too good), I would do something to mess things up. Sometimes it was in big ways (quitting a job for no reason) and sometimes in small ways (listening to a sad song to sour my mood). Each time, it had worked. I reached my upper limit, and then out of fear and anxiety, I would self-sabotage.

Not today though!

Today, I have reached my upper limit, but now, I can overcome it. I can move past it.

Here’s how I deal with reaching my upper limit:

• Affirmations
• Reflection and journaling
• Meditation
• Loving and taking care of myself
• Talking it out
• Give yourself credit

Affirmations

It used to sound really cheesy to me, but not anymore. Every day, I listen and say affirmations to myself. Right as I wake up in the morning, I put on a sound bath or calming sounds, and I recite affirmations to myself. I tell myself what I need to hear. Over time, I have come to believe these things about myself.

I also try to have a saying or two for the week to encourage myself throughout the day. This week’s phrase is: little by little. Step by step, I can overcome. Little by little, I can make a difference.

Talk to yourself with kindness. Use language that resonates and works for you. Little by little, you’ll see a change in your mindset. Affirmations help me get through the fear that comes with hitting my upper limit.

Don’t be afraid of how good it can get. Welcome that energy.

Reflection and Journaling

Write it out! I used to not enjoy spending time with myself and truly reflecting on things. I spent a lot of time worrying, but not really reflecting. Journaling has help me to slow down and reflect. Taking time for reflection has helped me stay present.

When I’ve hit my upper limit, journaling and reflecting on my feelings and what’s happening helps me calm down. I can recognize when I’m hitting my upper limit and take the steps needed to overcome it.

Meditation

Meditation puts my mind and body at ease. It makes me feel grounded. With meditation, I am able to tune into how my body is feeling. I have learned to feel my feelings and to also not let anxiety, worries, and fears fester within me.

Meditation is another way that I’m able to acknowledge and understand when I’ve hit my upper limit. I am able to pause and ground myself in the present.

Loving and Taking Care of Myself

Part of loving myself is taking care of my mind, body, and spirit. Hitting my upper limit can at times trigger feelings of sadness and depression. I have learned to continue to take care of myself and to be extremely kind to myself during these times. I prioritize sleep and self-care. I prioritize taking time for myself by going to the gym, drinking all the matcha lattes, and spending quality time with my support system.

Overcoming your upper limit is a big feat. It isn’t easy.

Take time to celebrate and love on yourself. Give yourself grace.

I’ve stumbled many times and made many mistakes, but I’ve learned to pick myself back up. I wasn’t always my biggest cheerleader, but now, I’m the loudest in the crowd.

You can do it! You got this! You are worthy of rest! You deserve joy! Keep going! Little by little. 🙂

Talking it Out

I used to think having an upper limit was strictly a me problem until I started talking to friends and family about it. Imagine my surprise when I found that they too had an upper limit.

Talking and sharing has taught me so much. It has shown me that I am not alone.

When I’ve hit my upper limit, I talk about it. I share with people I trust. Talking it out with a listening ear always makes me feel supported and understood.

Give Yourself Credit

Getting past your upper limit is hard work. Give yourself credit. Remind yourself of all that you’ve already accomplished.

You are worthy of joy and happiness. It’s time to give yourself credit.