Positive self-talk didn’t always come easy for me. For awhile, I was resigned to being my biggest critic, and sometimes even my worst enemy.

Because I didn’t always think highly of myself, I would seek external validation. I would do things for others in hopes that they would compliment or say nice things about me. Although I was looking for validation from others, even when the validation came, I wasn’t able to accept it.

What a cycle, huh?

I had low self esteem, so I wanted others to uplift and encourage me. But because I had low self esteem, I did not believe people’s compliments.

I could not believe when others found me worthy because at my core I did not believe that I was worthy. Even other people’s words were colored with my perception of myself.

Through a lot of reflection and self-work, I began to realize that no matter what other people thought of me, it would not change what I thought of myself. I had to learn to see myself for who I was, and not an accumulation of all the judgements and negative self-talk.

I had to learn how to affirm and validate myself.

I started to pay attention to myself. No longer did I accept the mindless thought of, “You’re not worthy.” Instead, I started to question when that thought would come up.

“Who told you, you weren’t worthy?”

I realized that a lot of my negative self-talk came from outside sources. I started to pay attention and listen to what I truly thought of myself.

I am worthy.

Those are the words I started with on my self-love journey. Seems simple, but for me (someone starved for self-love and care), it meant a lot. Repeating those words daily opened the door for more.

Commit to loving and expressing love for yourself.

Start to give yourself love and attention. You deserve it. Invest in yourself. With time, affirmations and validation will come naturally to you.

That doesn’t mean that negative self-talk doesn’t creep up. I have to actively combat any negative self-talk, doubts, and fears that I have. However, I am committed to the relationship that I have with myself.

Affirming, caring, and loving myself has opened my eyes to how much love and care others have for me. When you love and care for yourself, you’ll find that everyone else’s love and care is an added bonus. I learned to stop expecting validation from others, and to start giving it to myself.

By affirming and building myself up, I have been able to make other positive changes in my life. My positive thoughts have led to positive actions.

I love myself, and it shows. 🙂