I have been job searching, and frankly, the process has been wearing me down.

Although my mantra is to not take things personally, and I understand that business is business, it can be hard to ignore that little voice in my head. Maybe you have that little voice in your head, as well. Mine tells me that I’m not good enough or worthy. That everyone is smarter than I am… That I’ll never succeed.

While I know that is simply not true, it can be hard to ignore when multiple companies have sent me emails essentially saying, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

It can get tiring dedicating time and putting forth effort to end up disappointed. Part of me wonders what is the point in doing all of this, and the other part keeps encouraging me and pushing me forward.

I am choosing to listen to the encouraging side of me.

As much as I would like to only apply to jobs with easy applications, I am challenging myself to stick to what I want and what I am truly looking for in a job. I am only applying to jobs that I feel align with where I want to head in the future.

It can be hard to maintain staying disciplined, intentional, and determined. Some days I feel like I can conquer the world, and other days, I feel like the world is out to crush my spirits. Despite everything, I am set on pushing forward.

Keep swimming.

Some days, the encouraging side of me wins, and I cherish those days. Other days, the discouraging side wins, and I am kinder to myself and take time to rest on those days. No matter how I feel, I know that all of my efforts mean something.

The lessons I’ve learned and the changes I’ve made are bettering me in the long run.

I am letting go of the idea that a job offer determines my worth and intelligence. I am letting go of the idea that a “No” reflects poorly on me. I am letting go of the idea that I always have to remain positive. I am letting go of the idea that good things are not meant for me.

I am letting in the idea that my opinion of myself is what counts. I am letting in the idea that I am more than a job title. I am letting in the idea that sometimes a rejection can be the redirection I need. I am letting in the idea that life has ebbs and flows. I am letting in the idea that good things are on the way.

For now, I’m learning to enjoy the journey.